mm.. Do i like you?...

I was just wondering what makes people like/adore others? .. Well, what is it?Lets see. Some of them may be; their attitude, mannerisms, patience, looks (muscles and bones in the right place, with a nice covering called skin!!), boldness, innocence, honesty, intelligence, insane jokes, or slightly not-so-famous things such as laid-back life, driving skills.basically, anything you can think of. I, once, happened to read somewhere that one starts liking someone as they find themselves in others. This is true. May be one who is not-so-talkative may tend to like talkative people as he/she also wanted to be like him/her. They find that something which they really wanted to do in their real life, is in others and since they ain't so much like the other or not so good at that trait, they start liking others as they find their better part in others. It is basically searching yourself in your friend, your bro, sis, mate or anyone. And, so they tend to meet more people, socialize and do all sorts of things to find their better part in others. This is an un-ending search. That is what i have realised.

I used to wonder about all those stories about that famous saints who go to the mountains, away from civilizations, living a secluded life. They seem to be very contended about their life.(yes, as per the story, i din seen anyone from the mountains till now :) i am talkin bout the true ones not the fake swamis of today's). No hurry, no anger, no negative emotions, nothing. Just peace. I sometimes meet people like that who once you talk with them you will feel at peace and ease. Not necessarily a saint though. But, something of that sort. I assume these people are those who stop searching for their own selves in others and start looking within. (That's some topic which i wrote earlier and which isn't going anywhere.. mm..tis getting dragged a bit, though). I know some friends of mine who are like modern swamis. They live alone. I never could understand that.living alone?? Seems they are like budding-swamis of de future! ;). living in high-rise apartments rather than those old mountains. But, they seem to be pretty balanced to an extent... in thoughts, actions et all. .. are they struggling with themselves to free themselves from some unknown, un-explainable forces? Well, everyone does struggle. But this particular struggle should do good to the self to a large extent.STOP Searching, start LIVING!!.. (mm.. how do i do that?? :( ..

YOU define ME.??..

Us.. human beings..? Do we have a tendency to hate someone or some past cuz they did one mistake eventhough they would have done a 1000 good things.I wonder why it happens? Why can't we look at the good things and move on in life? Is this why people tend to live with memories which they term as bad? Just think about it. May be the person who was responsible for your present would have done many things to make you happy at that time. Out of love or friendship, they would have done lot many wonderful things to make you smile, to see you happy and some thing happens somewhere that breaks it all. All those wonder days become bad memories because of that 1 (or 2) mistakes which they do and is given top priority. We are prone to do mistakes in our lives. That is what teach us not to do it in the future. But, shouldn't we be thankful to the person who makes us realise it? Our shortcomings et all which has made us a better person today?

Should n't we forgive them for their so called mistakes as though we are perfect?? If we are not perfect and if we also do mistakes who are we not to forgive them? All of a sudden they start behaving strangely as if they didn't know us at all or they do not want to know us. Sometimes it is so strange that it hurts. And, they also live with that hurt? NOTHING can surpass the system we have inside us. It knows when we do wrong or right eventhough some wrongs are compulsively termed as right by the outside world and therefore by us. I do not want to cheat me, let alone others. People start hating others when others fall short of some expectations. Expectations.. which others may not be able to reach to. Life becomes out of control when you expect something from others and when you don't get it, you blame them as if you are perfect. Silly you and me! I do not want to expect anything from others. If i am worth, i will and should get it. That is all i know. I have been getting some really "good" definitions about me.
WHO ARE YOU TO DEFINE ME? .. I wonder.. But, i still love you for what you are.!! cuz you were and are good at some point of time. cuz i also do mistakes and i do not have any right to criticize you or expect anything from you. And, that is all i know and want to know.

a sweet smile..

One of the most interesting "event"in a human life, i wud say is that the initial "attraction" phase btw a guy and a gal, apart from doing some interesting work.Today, in train, it was fun watchin a lovely gal and a smart-looking guy(no, it is not me!!;) ). The guy boarded the train from my station and the gal was in it already. The gal had a small hidden smile always.. she was very restless. turning this side, the other side, trying to do the famous "eye-locking" tactic with the guy. she stood opposite to the guy and i was behind him. she wud turn the other side sometimes and after sometime to his side. She din wanna go away from him eventhough the crowd was tryin to push her off as she was near the door. The guy was listening to i-pod, sometimes closing his eyes as if hez really listening and din notice the girl. this happens all the time with us guys. When some chic passes along, we tend to act "gentleman".. may be tis tru with girls also. Wasted act, i would say. May be those two were kinda "meeting" eachother for quite some days, going by the looks of it. You should have seen her smile. It wuz so .. nice .. to see. They din talk at all. Jus some gestures now and then. The Truth here being both are attracted and both want one to talk and break the ice.I really wanted to help her out in gettin connected to tat fella. That is when i realised, this is one of the most interesting phase of human life. The initial phase.. innocent and funny. Well, guys if yu get some chance like tat, do smile to tat girl. Don't be an A** like me who keep staring at them and take some time to break the ice. By the time, i realise tat i shud talk now, the girl wud already assume tat i m some jerk. Poor me!! bit shy fella. Most of the time, i go ... "duh"..sigh.. how many "opportunities" i missed like tat!! ;P.
So, girls and guys, Put up a smile and make new relations. Every relation starts with a smile... somethin like "Mona lisa" smile :)

I Seek..

I started seeking for it..
I search for it in my mom, dad, bro, sis..
assuming their affection and love will make me attain it..
I search for it my friends
assuming that being with them for some while will make me feel it..
I search for it in my work
assuming that work will help me get it..
I search for it in my probable life mate
assuming that she will help me achieve it..
I assume, I will get it when I do what I want to do..
I assume, I will get it as long as I keep searching for it in the outside of me..
Outside !! ... Everywhere, in everyone, in everything
But, Alas, i could not find it!

There is still a void somehwere!!
But, there is still one place left to search..
Let me search in the inside of me..
to find it...
to find peace!!!
Let peace be with me!!
And, the search still goes on...

Rules for Simple life!

1. Love thy WORK.
2. OBSERVE and LEARN.
3. Do your prayers.
4. Be INDEPENDENT.
5. Maintain LIMITS.
6. Do not take anyone/anything for GRANTED including yourself and your closest relations. Give them their FREEDOM. And, you will get your's.
7. Kill your FEAR. (try out things which you fear and know how it actually feels...Try again), Do not fear people around you. Fear only your consciense.Let your conscience be your guide.
8. Talk to the point. If you can't talk during a tense situation, do not talk. It will make things worse. Think and talk later. Apologize, when you are wrong.
9. Do not do the same mistake more than twice.
10. Finally, learn to let go and RELAX.
FREE YOUR MIND!.. HAVE FUN.!! YOU BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!
Now,....... take a DEEEEEEEEEEP breath.
:)

i OWN my children..

NDTV Correspondent

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 (New Delhi):


The suicide of schoolgirl Shefali is linked to concerns over exam results and pressure from parents.

The Class 10 student of Sanskriti School in Delhi died by hanging last week.

Experts point out that children feel the pressure because parents want to have the final say on the courses and college they select.

"My best friend is being forced take science although she wants to do arts. Her parents think that she will be much more successful in it because both her brothers also did science," said a student.

Psychologist Sunil Mittal says parents should understand their child’s capabilities and communication with them is very important.
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http://www.ndtv.com/morenews/showmorestory.asp?category=National&slug=Student+suicide+linked+to+pressures&id=88010

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The above is one among the 100s of cases that happened in india.. and there are lots more who wud want to follow Shefali. Well, parents have the right to decide what their children should do. But their rights ends after expressing their views.Parents can correct them when they are doing mistakes which are against the moral sense.

Compulsion leads to seperation btw parent and children. CHILDREN ARE MY PROPERTY - this is the INDIAN PARENT's MENTALITY.. and that too of well-educated parents.. Education or age doesn't bring maturity.. Only the problems and successful resolution of the problems bring maturity.. the more and faster you face it, the better.

STATUTORY WARNING: CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY!! YOU DO NOT "OWN" THEM !
My dear parents, are you listening. !!

YOU are supposed to guide them through their path and not apply blinds on them like on to a donkey and compel them to walk your path. Limits should be understood. Only a properly brought up child will take care of you during your older years.. folks!
Remember that!

A child should not be viewed as a businees investment which will give returns when you get old. The investment here should be more than money!!! doesn't mean more money! There is no need for me to write here wat it shud be! you can guess it. Depends on how much sense you have!

The pic above shows the exact state of most children now... blind-folded(so that they cannot do wat they really want to do) and burdened.!!

How am I, now ?

"The nature of their relationships had the same quality. There was no passion in it, no desire, no actual pleasure, not even a sense of shame. To them, the act of sex was neither joy nor sin. It meant nothing. They had heard that men and women are supposed to sleep together, so they did."

- from Atlas shrugged - Ayn Rand

Is something ringing somewhere, budd? well, i have seen many ppl. live a life like this and still seeing. Just living because others also do the same thing. Just doing cuz others will criticize them..And, therefore, i should also do it .. Do it without any purpose, meaning and satisfaction. 'Sex' as mentioned above is just one of the acts.

Just imagine.. living under the same roof, seeing eachother everyday, eating, sleeping, talking, all with a lot of emptiness.!! ..coming baq frm work to home whn u sometimes feel tat whether it is really a home?? or jus another place of shelter?...

tis better to live alone rather than live like that! Atleast, u need to prove only to you.. not anyone else!

Ask "How am i?" , everytime .. more than the number of times u ask others.. how are you??..!!

It's All about ME - OW.. ! :)

Quotes

1. When you cannot do something till you live, do not do it from day one.
2. When you do something, do it so that no one else does it better.. And, Do it with utmost discipline,patience and without hope. JUST DO IT!
3. When you pray, ask to make your character and attitude the best. Everything else
will follow.
4. Life has it's choices. Choose any one and do not change it.
5. I know what to do and i really know that this is it when i do it everyday.

Creator does it right.. always!!

Have u observed when someone creates something.? For ex. u create a simple
document wit some business proposal. u try to make it as perfect as
possible.. i mean, if u ask urself some opinion bout ur doc then u won't
find any fault in it.. nothing negative will be associated with it.
evrything will be positive. Now, imagine god creating this world. DO you
think he wud create it with any negative forces or thoughts.. He being so
perfect wud ve defenitely made the world with perfect positive forces. i
mean the way he shud ve made tis world is when he made it he made it in
such a way that it is filled with positive energies and feelings like
beauty, confidence, success, optimisim, friendships, love and all other
positive things.. It is us who try to find negative things like being
unsuccesfull, pessimism, jealousy, ego and the likes.. just like some ppl
find some faults when they review ur document v try to find some fault in
the way the world is created.. But then .. i wuz thinking, the creator
being so perfect, can he actually do or create something with fault in it.?
it has to be defenitely us who find faults which actually do not exist in
this world but which exists only in our mind.. just like it is said that
..what all one sees around them in their daily life is what all is actually
present in one's mind. my conclusion is that the world as it is created ..
is created with beauty in every sense. Let's try to enjoy the beauty.

But then we are also his creation, why is that we are behaving the way we do. ..
I would say that the same way we create something and test it .. may be creator is also testing. But that means.. we, who are his creation, have some fault.. ?? I don't have an answer for this. Cuz i said earlier that all creation should be beautiful... hmmm.. interesting thought!!.. :)

Second-hand life..

This is an excerpt from 'Fountain head by Ayn rand.. something which everyone knows is true but none wud ve the guts to accept it.. here it goes..

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"" Yes! And, Isn't that the root of every despicable action? Not selfishness, but precisely the absence of the self. Look at them. The man who cheats and lies, but preserves a respectable front. He knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he is honest and he derives his self-respect from that, second hand. The man who takes credit for an achievement which is not his own. He knows himself to be mediocre, but he is great in the eyes of others. The frustated wretch who professes love for the inferior and clings to those less endowed, in order to establish his own superiority by comparision. The man whose sole aim is to make money. Now, i don't see anything evil in the desire to make money. But, money is only a means to some end. If a man wants it for a personal purpose, to invest in his industry, to study, to create, to travel, he is completely moral. But, the men who place money first go much beyond that. Personal luxury is a limited endeavour. What they want is ostentation: to show, to stun, to entertain, to impress others. THEY are second-handers.Look at our so-called cultural endeavors. A Lecturer who spouts some borrowed rehash of nothing at all that means nothing at all to him - and the people who listen who don't give a damn, but sit there in order to tell their friends that they have attended a lecture by a famous name. Deriving the unknown meaning of life from others' definition. ALL SECOND-HANDERS.""

... "They have no concern for facts, ideas, work. They are concerned only with people. They dont ask: "Is this true?"" They ask: "Is this what others think is true?". Not to judge, but to repeat. Not to do, but to give the impression of doing. Not creation, but show. Not ability, but friendship. Not merit, but pull. What would happen to the world without those who would think, work, produce. Those are the egotists. You don't think through another's brain. You don't work through another's hand. When you suspend your faculty of independent judgement, you suspend consciousness. To stop consciosness is to stop LIFE. Second-handers have no sense of reality. Their reality is not within them, but around them. That is the emptiness that i couldn't understand in people.Men without an ego. Opinion without a rational process. Motion without brakes or motor. Power without responsibility. The second-handers acts, but the source of his action is scattered in every other living person. You can't speak to him. He can't hear. He won't hear..." (cuz he knows you are right but doesn't want to let go off others baseless and well-cast opinion)
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Many of us will be knowing all those things written above. We almost live our lives like this. Not almost,but actually. I have asked many.. why don't you think on your own.. including to some really close, family, others and myself. Some listen. Some hear. Even i sometimes won't listen to myself. Most of us listen to others. The others who live their life and not our's. Doesn't mean you have to be arrogant and listen to only you. Sometimes, during those really rare times, you have to listen only to you...I would say that we have a perfect system inside us which will tell us to do certain things and not to do some other. But, when we go against it in order to gain all fake "realities" in life, we are actually cheating ourselves.. The self which has to have the greatest importance and self-respect..without which others won't even care a damn about you. Life is short folks .. live it!! LIVE IT FOR THE REAL YOU!!

Do read fountain head.. !! Sometimes we find our thoughts in some books.. this is something like that.

YOU are UniQuE ..

You Are Unique

Enjoy that uniqueness. You do not have to pretend in order to seem more like someone else. You weren't meant to be like someone else. You do not have to lie to conceal the parts of you that are not like what you see in anyone else.

You were meant to be different. Nowhere ever in all of history will the same things be going on in anyone's mind, soul and spirit as are going on in yours right now.

If you did not exist, there would be a hole in creation, a gap in history, something missing from the plan for humankind. Treasure your uniqueness. It is a gift given only to you. Enjoy it and share it!

No one can reach out to others in the same way that you can. No one can speak your words. No one can convey your meanings. No one can comfort with your kind of comfort. No one can bring your kind of understanding to another person.

No one can be cheerful and lighthearted and joyous in your way. No one can smile your smile. No one else can bring the whole unique impact of you to another human being.

Share your uniqueness. Let it be free to flow out among your family and friends and people you meet in the rush and clutter of living wherever you are. That gift of yourself was given you to enjoy and share. Give yourself away!

See it! Receive it! Let it tickle you! Let it form you and nudge you and inspire you!

((C)(P) - copy-pasted material :) )